Monday, August 25, 2008

Alternate Titles for My Next Post.

In Which God Answers jmlo's Question. (Ans: "Much, Much More Creative, Thanks For Asking.")

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of soybeans suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

George: That's a lie! Harry Bailey went to war - he got the Congressional Medal of Honor, he saved the lives of every soybean in that field.
Clarence: Every soybean in that field died! Harry wasn't there to save them, because you weren't there to save Harry.

Who is the mole?

From outside in the fields came a sickening smack of an axe on a soybean. Then we heard the soybean fall. The very last soybean plant of them all!

Jack: Hey, don't tell me how to run the 4720 sprayer, all right? They brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to spray the durned soybeans, and I sprayed the soybeans!
Fred: All I'm asking is what did the gauge read before you sprayed the field? And you don't know!
Jim: Look, if I'm in the left hand seat when the call comes up and they say "Spray the field" I spray the field.

Ben: Jack! I know you think you're saving the soybeans. But you need to stop this. It's a mistake.
Jack: The mistake was listening to you.
Ben: This'll be your last chance, Jack. I'm telling you, spraying that field is the beginning of the end.

("Don't Screw Up. Don't Screw Up. Don't Screw Up.") Gary Screws Up.


nattyman said...

Sorry 'bout your soy beans dude. I feel like since I was there at the beginning that a little piece of me has died too.

(p.s. the word verification below the comment box is making me type a naughty word with an alternate spelling. BAD GOOGLE!)

jmlo said...

I promise not to ask anymore questions involving the wrath of God.

Anonymous said...

I hope this wont make "Jack or Gary" feel any more worse than I know he still does.

You can call me Kentolla said...

Now I feel bad for punching the soy beans...