Monday, August 25, 2008

Alternate Titles for My Next Post.

In Which God Answers jmlo's Question. (Ans: "Much, Much More Creative, Thanks For Asking.")

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of soybeans suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

George: That's a lie! Harry Bailey went to war - he got the Congressional Medal of Honor, he saved the lives of every soybean in that field.
Clarence: Every soybean in that field died! Harry wasn't there to save them, because you weren't there to save Harry.

Who is the mole?

From outside in the fields came a sickening smack of an axe on a soybean. Then we heard the soybean fall. The very last soybean plant of them all!

Jack: Hey, don't tell me how to run the 4720 sprayer, all right? They brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to spray the durned soybeans, and I sprayed the soybeans!
Fred: All I'm asking is what did the gauge read before you sprayed the field? And you don't know!
Jim: Look, if I'm in the left hand seat when the call comes up and they say "Spray the field" I spray the field.

Ben: Jack! I know you think you're saving the soybeans. But you need to stop this. It's a mistake.
Jack: The mistake was listening to you.
Ben: This'll be your last chance, Jack. I'm telling you, spraying that field is the beginning of the end.

("Don't Screw Up. Don't Screw Up. Don't Screw Up.") Gary Screws Up.

4 comments:

nattyman said...

Sorry 'bout your soy beans dude. I feel like since I was there at the beginning that a little piece of me has died too.

(p.s. the word verification below the comment box is making me type a naughty word with an alternate spelling. BAD GOOGLE!)

jmlo said...

I promise not to ask anymore questions involving the wrath of God.

Anonymous said...

I hope this wont make "Jack or Gary" feel any more worse than I know he still does.

You can call me Kentolla said...

Now I feel bad for punching the soy beans...